Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in soozeecue's LiveJournal:

Monday, July 18th, 2005
7:56 pm	ain't no door lock like a washington avenue door lock... ...'cause a washington avenue door lock don't work. well, OURS doesn't. it was done in by the brute force of placing a key inside the keyhole and turning the key to the right, courtesy of the rippling muscles of muscle of my own roommate sarah "bruiser" cheon. other things which are breaking include my car, my right thumbnail, my checking account, and my tolerance for humankind. also, god is punishing me for impulse-buying things i don't need. and the city of memphis is depending on me to make a fun-filled exciting labor day weekend for everyone, but i'm not entirely sure i feel up to the task. jeez, memphis. go to the beach like everyone else or something. i met a boy with the most beautiful upper lip i've ever seen. okay, that's it. hope that tides everyone over for another, what, 3 months? damn - i'm no good at this.. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
11:19 am	I could tell from the minute I woke up... Spring can suck it. Get on your knees, season of love. That's right; I said it. Do you know who ELSE has a happy shiny springtime love? That's right - the guy I've had a crush on for forever. So after finding out that LOVELY tidbit of news, cleaning the living room, and getting yelled at by my dad about money, I'm going to write an entire paper. Man alive - all before noon. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
5:05 pm	I turned into the conte crayon whiz kid today in figure drawing class and whipped up yet another pretty decent nudie pic. I'm getting a mite tired of the same model every day, though. Please jebus, don't make me look at this woman naked anymore. Also, whoever has been commandeering the CD player in class has some ass taste in music, especially for music to listen to while drawing. This isn't to say that the juxtaposition of the Star Wars Theme, followed by an album of Disney songs, followed by the "Lipstick on Your Collar" album (the a cappella girls' singing group at Rhodes, for those who don't know) and an art class isn't kind of amusing, 'cause it is. But only for like 45 seconds. I kept running to the CD player from across the room, only to have someone get there 5 seconds before me to put on another Creed-fest or something. Monday I'm putting a damn combination lock on the boombox. Rediscovering old CDs is sometimes more satisfying than purchasing new ones, although it kind of makes you feel guilty and dumb for ever forgetting about a really good album in the first place. Enter Blur's "Think Tank," which I hadn't really listened to since the summer and only pulled out yesterday because I felt like dancing in my car (the album showcases some of the finest car-dancing songs ever written...which are WAY different from dance songs). As if 'twere fate, the renewed interest in "Think Tank" coincided with a trip to the comic book store, the place of employment of the world's hottest Blur fan/the object of my affection. Tragically, he wasn't there, which sucks for him because A) we could have made out and B) he could have witnessed my skillful 557-point turn in the parking lot, prompted by some bastard parking one of those monstrous wide-hipped trucks in the compact space right behind me. Thanks to Phat Baby's faulty power steering this was no small feat, but my prowess behind the wheel was proven once more...to Caroline and, uh, Donnie. On the agenda tonight: Yoga, Rehearsal, Senior Paper On the agenda tomorrow night: Ariel, the OC, $1.00 martinis Hot DAMN, I love me a vacation in the middle of February. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
12:01 am	I can't stand to look at no picture make you cry... Ah, Memphis. Je suis ici once more. Thing The First: I think it's pretty indicative of my status at Rhodes that my cell phone has not rung once since I've entered the Memphis city limits. Damnation, that just hurts my heart. Where my Kleenexes at? It's nice to not be living at home (something I'm completely incapable of doing for any more than about two days now), but every time I leave my friends at home, I feel a little disheartened at the prospect of leaving a place where people want to see me in favor of coming to a place where people, uh, don't want to see me. Thing The Second: One semester to go. And, as a special bonus prize for being Susannah Young, it's a semester sans Friday classes. And, as a special bonus kick in the ass for being Susannah Young The Illustrious Theatre Minor, it's a semester avec the Second Coming of Stage Direction, a.k.a. the only academic experience that's ever made me cry. Mark my words, Cookie Ewing, this year you will not own me emotionally. With my (hopeful) prowess of stage movement, I will kick your ass. In, y'know, a figurative manner. Thing The Third: Jeez Louise, the lead singer of Ours can sing HIGH. I feel shamed as a female being who ostensibly possesses a greater amount of estrogen than that guy. Thing The Fourth: I have no idea why I'm peppering this entry with French phrases. Since high school, my grasp of the French language has obviously slipped from Village Idiot of Provence to Houseplant Imported from Reno to Normandy. (Abeles will probably join me in thanking Libby on this one.) Maybe there should be some kind of color-coded system a la the Terror Alert to organize my gradual descent to being monolingual once again. Thing The Fifth: I'm drawing Caroline's Christmas present. In our non-traditional manner, it's a rendering of our beloved Ruff Rat - that is, a muscled-up rat wearing acid wash jeans, a Pantera shirt, workman's boots, and a tattoo that proclaims to all caring to view Ruff's right bicep, "Me heart Ferret." I had originally intended for him to look "ruff," as the name might indicate, but he looks more like Gay Pride Rat. Perhaps the jeans should be slightly looser, and the shirt longer. And his stance less catty. Thing The Fifth: Where is the Burns of 2004? I don't like New Year's Burns. Last Year Burns (Burns 1.0, if you will) was smiley and flirty and ran across the store to specifically ring me up at the cash register when there were already people working the register. Burns 2.0 is all hot and distant. In 2005, he should be hot and near. Ew. That sounds kind of gross. But I think the sentiment is clear...except, of course, to him. Natch. Alright, we out. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 22nd, 2004
1:28 pm	Everyone's doing it... ...so i did it too. this one was ass-long, man. hope it's not too boring... about you -full name: Susannah Reid Young -screen name: I'm sure if you're reading this, you either already have it or aren't addicted to AIM. But just in case neither are true, it's SooZeeCue757 -birthday: October 15, 1982 -born: On a mountain top in Tennessee...I guess that's only funny if you're the second person in the world (me being the first) who remembers the theme song to Disney's "Davy Crockett." -age: 22...all the fun birthdays are behind me now... -nationality: Whitey. According to some of Ariel's friends, I look "Aryan." Thanks, Some Of Ariel's friends. -astrological sign: Libra. And doubly so, since it's my moon sign as well as my sun sign, which might explain my overwhelming libra-ness. If you've known me for more than ten minutes, you're probably aware of my hypersensitivity to balance, justice, and equality - both aesthetically and ideologically. Hence, my disdain for both Medieval art and the Republican party. -location: Memphis, until tomorrow, when it's back to the homestead for Giving Thanks. -eye color: Quite blue -height: 5'8" to 5'10", depending on my choice of footwear -love is: Standing together as equals who respect one another. it's finding a person who constantly challenges you and makes you all the more complex and infinitely wiser for knowing them. it should never be boring. -i'm afraid of: Being stifled. have you ever -been in love?: You know, I had been denying it for awhile, but I think I'm going to be straight with myself and say that yes, I have. Honesty sparked by internet quiz - that's rather inspiring. -said i love you and meant it?: Wouldn't you be about the biggest asshole ever if you always went around saying "i love you" and NEVER meant it? -cried when someone died?: Definitely -lied?: Uhoh. The vice section. Yes. -smoked?: Yep, that too. -drank?: And also this. -cheated on someone?: Done this as well. Man, I'm sweeping the categories. -fallen for your best friend?: Uh, no. Probably won't, unless I decide I like girls rather more than I thought. -made out with just a friend?: See "Ireland" -rejected someone?: Many a time. -used someone?: More times than I'd care to admit. Man, I'm an asswad. -been used?: More times than I think I'd like to know. -been cheated on?: Oh, probably. -been kissed?: Well, yeah. -done something you regret?: A lot. I'm one of those people that replays conversations/situations in their minds after the fact and re-scripts them to achieve hypothetical better results. the last time... -you had sex?: Too long ago for my personal preferences. -you went out of state?: End of August, when I went to Chicago and visited the fantabulous Sherri and Rebecca. -you were outside?: Probably about half an hour ago. -you had a snowball fight?: The last time I was actually around snow. Fuck you, Tennessee. And your weather, too. -you were listening to music?: Last night, as I was falling asleep, unless they were piping it into the Rat, as Rhodes College is wont to do. -you ate?: About 2 hours ago. Chicken and Dumplings, yo. -you drank?: Is this a slightly veiled reference to alcohol? That would be last Friday night. I'm currently drinking some water that was in a glass on my desk; probably not wise, as I'm not sure how long it's been there. -you jumped in front of a moving car?: Once a day is the quota I have set. -you watched TV?: Comedy Central this afternoon. -you cried?: Man, last night I was crying over this book I have to present on in Senior Seminar. I'm such a sappy motherfucker. -doing: Clearly, this. -wearing: Boots, jeans, and a nice shirt contrasted with a not-nice hoodie. Oh, and a smile. -eating: Nada. -drinking: I made myself stop drinking the water of indeterminate age. -thinking: Why in the hell am I doing this? favorite -foods: I don't tend to have favorites. It depends on my mood. Lately I've been craving a salad with some steak and some blue cheese on it. -fruits: oh...fresh pineapple. I need to change my underwear. -vegetables: Show me a person who doesn't write in 'potatoes' here. I also really like broccoli. And I'm a sucker for a well-crafted salad. -color: It depends on my mood. My safety answer is usually yellow. -numbers: I rather enjoy 7. -animal: I got love for the golden retrievers of the world, particularly my own. -soda: Diet Cherry Coke=light of my life, fire of my loins. Until the light of my life is extinguished and my loins and I perish from aspartame cancer, lab-rat style. do you.. -habla espanol?: Enough to tell you that I don't actually speak Spanish. -color your hair?: Never ever. -write in cursive or print?: My handwriting supersedes such petty categories. -sleep with stuffed animals?: Not anymore. They were literally kicking me out of the bed. -have any piercings?: Only one. I'm not into extraneous needless pain. -swear a lot?: Fuck, no. -have secrets?: Many. -like cleaning?: Myself, yes. My surroundings, no. are you.. -obsessive?: Selectively. I'm actually pretty laid-back about most things. -able to live without a computer?: Most of my life was spent computer-less, so I'm living proof for you tech kids that it can be done. -bored?: Never. It's one of the perks of being an ADD kid. -happy?: The only place I'm ever not happy is at Rhodes. -missing someone?: Several someones. My friends from Knoxville, my dog, my friends from Ireland. -confused?: Not currently, to my knowledge. Wait, now I AM confused. -tired?: Yeah. Theatre History was butt-ass early today. -mad?: I'm in kind of a bitchy mood lately. -sleepy?: Yeah...when it's dark all day, it's hard not to be. who was the last person.. -you talked to on the phone?: I think it was my mom, who called to tell me David Sedaris was coming to Knoxville *does the gay boyfriend dance* -you instant messaged?: My cheap-ass roommate lovah. I can see the fucking BVDs. Outlined. -instant messaged you?: See "Cheap-ass roommate lovah" -that slept in your bed?: Me. And Dates McG. -you shared a drink with?: Stanley, my other gay boyfriend. -you went to the movies with?: Caroline and Sarah. America, fuck YEAH. -yelled at you?: Probably my dad. -you called?: Kerssica, who I'm greatly looking forward to seeing over break. -you kicked?: Wow. I'm not sure I do this very often. It was probably Gordon; he was into that. -you saw?: Once again, I refer you to "Cheap-ass roommate lovah" what is.. -your most over used phrase ?: I say "like" a lot. And "douche" more often than is probably necessary. -the first thing you think when you wake up?: "Whaaaaaaaaaa?" -your best feature?: Sense of humor. My ability to get along with just about anyone. Physically, probably my eyes. -your bedtime?: Later than it should be, I'm sure. -something you do a lot?: Wander around aimlessly. in the future.. -what is the age you hope to get married?: I'd like to be in some kind of committed relationship by the time I'm about 27 or 28. -age to have kids?: After 30, but before the scary birth defect age. -number and names of kids?: ABSOLUTELY no more than two of them. And I think I must be the only person that doesn't plan their future kids' names. I like Dylan; I like MacNeill... -where do you see yourself at age 30?: Hopefully being happy, doing something creative, being able to support myself and whoever's in my life at that time -what are your career plans?: Finding some kind job that includes aspects of writing, art, and working with people. -places you'd like to visit?: There's not enough space in all the internet to write them all. I want to go everywhere. the opposite sex -eye color?: It's not the color; it's the shape. -hair color?: It's very seldom that I find guys with blonde or red hair to be attractive. The darker the hair, the better. -highlights?: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -short or long hair?: Man, I'm such a sucker for the emo hair, even though I know the stylish hair comes with emotional baggage. I also have a thing for spiky hair. -height?: Someday, I'd like to date someone who is significantly taller than myself. -weight?: I don't really care, but every guy I've dated has been a little on the small side. -best first kiss location?: It doesn't matter as long as he's a good kisser. -what do you notice first?: EYES. -worst question to ask them?: "Do you think that if you took this class again..." Yeah, only Caroline's gonna get that. other -how many pplz are on your buddylist?: More than I thought I knew. 107. -how many are actually online?: Only 77. People, please. -what hurts the most- physical or emotional pain?: Emotional, all the way. If I've learned one thing from independent music... -what do you wear to bed?: Enormous plaid pants and some old-ass t-shirt. -have you ever played ouija board?: Ha! We tried to contact John Lennon at a 5th grade sleepover. -how many rings before you pick up the phone?: However long it takes me to get to the phone. -how many schools have you gone to?: A lot. 7. -say one last thing: That was long as FUCK. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 1st, 2004
10:03 pm	Happy Birthday... So just when I thought this was the worst week of my semester, it ended up being a lot worse. Three papers, a proposal for my senior paper, a long-ass presentation, and two novels to read IN ADDITION to all my regular work. And then little things even further beyond my control than my work load are conspiring to make my own private little hell that much more peachy-keen. Example 1: Extremely miniscule, but an annoyance nonetheless: the scrape/friction burn on my knee (collected while returning from running and walking, or "ralking" ["i'm so roneryyyyy..."], if you will) is exactly at the level where my car keys, when hanging from the ignition, dig into it incessantly. Huzzah! It will never heal! Neosporin, your power is useless here! Example 2: A little more founded as a reason to complain. I recently found out that someone has seriously been talking some shit about me behind my back, for [mostly] unfounded reasons. Or maybe they're completely unfounded. Or completely founded. Who knows? The person didn't even provide any qualifiers for having problems with me! Hey, THAT'S fair! This is such a foreign concept to me; with the exception of friends and boyfriends, I'm really not used to significantly registering on anyone's radar in either a really good OR really bad way. People just don't generally gossip about me. But you know what? It sucks. Hard. I thought that when I was having such a fun and fulfilling time in Ireland that I would somehow be able to carry that part of me back here, but that definitely hasn't worked at all, given that I really haven't been happy for any extended period of time since I've returned. I blame this entirely on Rhodes College and most of the people who go to this school. To say that I'm ready to get out of here would be the biggest understatement on the planet, right up there with "Hey, maybe four more years of Bush wouldn't be THAT bad." (I like to keep my analogies topical. p.s. if kerry loses, I will cry.) Sorry this is such a goddamned downer. Next week will be better.. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
1:29 pm	Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following: Opening song: Beta Band - Dry The Rain Waking up: Weezer - American Girls First date: The Mooney Suzuki - Oh Sweet Susannah First kiss: Remy Zero - Fair Falling in love: Van Morrison - Astral Weeks or Sweet Thing Seeing an old love: The Shins - Pink Bullets Rekindling an old love: Bob Dylan - Love Minus Zero/No Limit Heartbreak: Damien Rice - Cannonball Relationship confusion: Jimmy Eat World - Cautioners Driving fast: The Strokes - Hard to Explain Getting ready to go out: The Streets - Too Much Brandy Partying with friends: The Clash - Hateful Dancing at a club: Toxic - Britney Spears (i know - you can punch me later) Flirting: Rhett Miller - Hover Feeling sexy: Julie London - Cry Me a River Walking alone in the rain: Patty Griffin - Long Ride Home Missing someone: The Walkmen - Stop Talking Playing in the ocean: Tom Petty - You Wreck Me Summer vacation: French Kicks - Piano Fighting with someone: Rolling Stones - Under My Thumb Acting goofy with friends: Southern Culture on the Skids - Camel Walk Thinking back: The Pogues - Fairytale of New York Feeling depressed: Ryan Adams - Desire Christmas time: Perry Como - Ave Maria Falling asleep: Velvet Underground - Pale Blue Eyes Closing song: The Killers - Everything Will Be Alright (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
9:51 pm	How about the power...to sex you? [insert guitar riff] Caroline and I are looking at www.justwait.com, a cloying, irritating, right-wing, abstinence education "sexisevildon'tdoitjesuswillhateyouandthenyou'llgetcrabsandsyphilisandyourfamilywilldisownyouandyou'llenduplyinginaditchcoldandalone" website. The magical part of this experience was noticing the date today and realizing that I am viewing this website on the one-year anniversary of the night i became, uh...not abstinent. Smug "I beat the right-wingers" smile ensues. I'm doing my part. And if my part is sex, well...this is one I'm willing to take for the team. You're welcome. Current Music: "Wonderboy" -- Tenacious D (in the ipod of my mind) (Comment on this)
Monday, October 4th, 2004
10:16 pm	Sherri is naming her child "Dard" The University of Memphis classifies the novel which will occupy much of my academic attention through the month of March as "Mentally Ill Fiction; Irish." Sweet. That's enough to make ANYONE want to write a senior paper on this book. "Nu-UH, Susannah." Yeah, you're right. My friend just told me I looked like the blonde girl on CSI Miami and I looked her up and she's WAY prettier than I am but it makes me feel good that other people think I look like attractive people. Currently, I'm in a chat room. Wait, don't judge me yet. It's with all of my American friends from Ireland. And I miss and love them so. I think there's an art to talking in chat rooms, just as there's an art to talking on blogs. I can never seem to time my comments right and so half of what I say gets lost in the mix. Electronic communication and I don't mesh extremely well in the first place. But face-to-face communication and I do, so I guess I shouldn't bemoan my lack of communcation skills in fields where no actual communication skills are required. Uh. Clearly, I have no life now. Updating was a bad idea. But you read this anyway. Mind if I point and laugh? Thanks. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 13th, 2004
2:40 pm	[insert Peter Griffin laugh here] FURTHER PROOF OF THE FACT THAT I AM ACTUALLY A CLEVERLY DISGUISED 13-YEAR OLD BOY: I happen to notice that a story by Marie de France in my Medieval Lit book is dedicated to "Le Cunte Willame" and, as a result, may or may not have peed my pants due to prolonged laughter. "You're immature, Susannah." There. I said it for you. Actually, I really truly hate people that think they're too good for "stupid" jokes. Consider yourself forewarned. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 30th, 2004
2:10 pm	Susannah Young: The Hard Puncher of Justice yesterday we ran into someone that i was excited to see right up until the point when she started talking to us. you should know that she is a sorority sister who went to ireland to study abroad and decided to finish out the acting academy there in dublin. and because women enjoy trying to ruin each other's lives, there was bound to be a little unspoken ireland competition embedded in the conversation. and when i write "conversation", i mean, ah, "one-upmanship." obviously she has the upper hand, seeing as how she's currently living in ireland and all. and that makes me jealous like the surviving member of milli vanilli watching the grammys. and girl, you know THAT'S jealous. basically what i'm trying to say is that i should've punched the bitch. okay, because i'm not the biggest fan of this girl, i didn't make much of an effort to see her while i was in ireland. and yesterday she was all, "yeah, i'm glad you contacted me while you were in dublin TWICE last semester, susannah. that was really nice of you." and since it's ridiculously easy to make me feel guilty about ANYTHING, i immediately thought, "oh my god, susannah. that was so rude of you. what were you thinking?" then fortunately, i came to my senses quickly and realized that she wasn't exactly running pell-mell down to cork to see ME. the road from cork to dublin runs two ways, douchewad. and what the hell kind of person insults someone they're supposedly "glad" to see upon seeing them for the first time in a year? i don't kick my grandmother in the shins when i come home from school and see her! jesus christ. furthermore, she implied that cork sucked, stating that she spent one night there, promptly leaving after getting food poisoning. i spent four food-poisoning-free months there. but you know, i'm sorry the city made you puke your guts out. i'm sorry its friendly inhabitants, dramatic hills, stone bridges, and brightly colored townhouses can't rival the vomit-encrusted sidewalks, peripatetic heroin addicts, and fanny-pack wearing American Midwestern tourists of fair dublin. then terese referred to her living companions as "apartment mates", to which she replied, "they're not apartment mates; they're FLAT mates." it was around this point in time when i should have just leaned over caroline and punched her right on the band-aid adorning her chin. all this anger is simply due to the fact that she's living the life i want to live. i can catch up after graduation. for now, idle threats of violence must suffice. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 30th, 2004
4:18 pm	Your hair is everywhere; screaming infidelities... i’m assuming that upon reading the title of my entry, my livejournal audience of three opted not to read today’s musing, believing me to be stewing in a stew of angsty emo-ness. come back, audience of three! i need you, loyal readers! i’m not whiny today! i merely had a literary revelation which also involves emo music. so i’m re-reading james joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. and i realized that the story’s protagonist, stephen dedalus, is the original emo kid. sure, literature had seen its fair share of tortured teens prior to joyce’s novels, but stephen is the only one you can honestly say that, were he alive today, he would certainly be wearing square-frame glasses and vintage t-shirts, meticulously spike his hair, cry to the music of Chris Carrabba, and pour out his heart on livejournal. let me review the plot for you susannah-style so you might understand the genius of my thesis. stephen goes to high school like the other boys, but...oh no! he’s not like those OTHER boys! he doesn’t believe everything the authority figures say! he believes in cultivating emotion! and the sanctity of art! but he can’t express these feelings! no one would understand! and everyone would think he was a pansy! which would suck cause this girl eileen’s, like, really hot and awesome! stephen walks down the Mardyke in Cork City on a beautiful day with his father, but...oh no! his father DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HIM! he doesn’t want to be a father figure! he wants to be a friend! but stephen needs a father! dad doesn’t know how to do that! dad’s friends don’t understand him either! they’re too sentimental and hung up on the past! so is stephen, but for some reason, it’s not a problem when he acts like that! they make jokes about stephen and girls! they don’t realize the beauty of love as a concept! but that STILL SUCKS ‘cause, eileen’s like, still hot and awesome and if he’s too afraid of ruining the conceptual, pure love they share in his mind, then he’s never ACTUALLY gonna make it with her! this sucks so hard stephen has to run into an alley and scream! at this point, you should realize that i am right. Saves the Day, Coheed and Cambria, Jimmy Eat World, Dashboard Confessional, take a memo: none of you would exist without James Joyce. i think they should treat Dublin as their Mecca and like, be required to visit it at as a band at least once in their career. and maybe before any of these bands wrote yet another song about their 8th grade girlfriends, they would have to face the direction of Dublin and pray for guidance from Joyce, who knew how to be emo without being annoying. no need to get that last lit credit in the fall. you just earned it. you can all thank me later. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
11:46 am	Michael, you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore i found a thesaurus at work. i work at a bakery. it was in a drawer that contains only baking equipment, equipment that can only be used for baking and never for expanding one’s vocabulary. just TRY and reconcile this one. “oh,” you say, “perhaps some young idealist was exploring the breadth of the English language and simply misplaced their tool.” nice try, motherfucker. written on the front of the thesaurus were the words, “Bakery Department.” this leads me to believe that other departments which have no use for a thesaurus have also been provided with their own copies. what the fuck, man. i don’t think any synonyms exist for “pie” or “cake” or “cheap, shitty-tasting icing.” and even if such words existed, we at Ingles are proud of our limited vocabularies, thanks very much. you don’t need two syllables when one will do the job. what made my discovery all the more curious was the fact that i was the only person in the entire department that knew what a thesaurus was. i searched for the right words to adequately explain its use to my co-workers. good thing i had a thesaurus handy. have you ever had someone not notice your existence? i’m not talking about being ignored; if you’re being ignored, someone has taken the time to acknowledge your presence and is demonstrating their disapproval. i’m talking about people seriously not noticing that you are currently occupying space in the universe. i was eating lunch and reading in the park when a family came in with a picnic and all manner of birthday trimmings – balloons, noisemakers, presents, etc. there were quite a few picnic tables, all of them empty, but they chose to set up on the one right next to me. after a minute or so, the setup shifted to the table where i was sitting. they piled chip bags on my purse; i was flanked on either side by 2-liter drinks. when the balloons wouldn’t stay tethered to the table leg, i halfway expected the mother to tie them to my wrist. as she set another giant package directly in front of me, i tried to catch her eye, expecting my gaze to be met with a look that said, “it’s MY son’s birthday; this public area actually belongs to US; you’re ruining OUR DAY; please FUCK OFF AND DIE.” i was surprised when she seemed to just be looking over me or through me, like i was completely invisible. it was at this moment that i really started to sympathize with the dead people in The Sixth Sense. these were my true brethren. poor dead people. all they wanted was a little attention. no wonder they were all up in Haley Joel’s shit. when i unearthed myself and left, the people didn’t appear to be relieved that i was departing. they didn’t even seem to notice. i was just an incompatible part of the birthday landscape (“Presents: Yes” “Susannah: No”) that needed to be hidden, in much the same way as you’d plant a tree in your yard to hide a view of a Taco Bell or a Texaco. ouch. The time of “No ‘boos’, No boys” draws nigh! Don thy Cardinal garb, sisteren! Supplement thy garb with ‘strappy’ black heels! Take heed that thou only wearest pantyhose if thy shoes feature a closed toe! Abraxis, Abraxis, I give myself to thee! actually, i just now wrote those goddamned letters. i think i’d have been more motivated to do it sooner had i purchased the ugly stationary instead of the sorority-esque stationary. the ugly stationary had the added benefit of being truly bizarre; it wasn’t just garden-variety ugly, like combining red and purple. this was calculated ugliness. in the background, there were billowing clouds. in the foreground was a gargantuan pot of bouillabaisse, bubbling and frothing. everything that lives in the sea was in this pot, and all of it looked quite alive and anxious to crawl out of the pot and back to the oceans from when it came. even the mushrooms and peppers looked like they were ready to make a break for it. around the outside of the pot were the lucky creatures who made it out. or maybe they were the unlucky ones yet to realize their fate. whatever. the point is, this was one ugly motherfucker of a painting, and Amanda and i were mesmerized by its ugliness. anyone should be honored to receive a letter written on such paper. i can’t believe i chickened out and went for the roses instead. what a pansy. yesterday, as i was waiting in the target parking lot for my father to come and rescue my broken-down car, i saw a family of three get picked up for shoplifting. they filed into the car, hands behind their backs. the family that shoplifts together stays together. in conclusion, quotes that made me laugh heartily from friends that make me laugh heartily: “you sure know how to make a girl pee in her pants.” ~mercy “he should have stayed a bastard. he was much better at being a bastard than he is at being jesus.” ~damien (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 28th, 2004
12:43 pm	I'm all lost in the supermarket; I can no longer shop happily... ...oh, Joe Strummer. as always, you said it best. as a point of clarification, i'm actually not lost in the supermarket. but it IS true that i can no longer shop happily. that tends to happen when you work there. in related matters, working there has made my life boring. and what's the best way to deal with a boring life? if you answered, "do interesting things", you're wrong. the best way is to write about your boring life in such a way as to make it seem exciting. for example, the account that i have cut below. read it and weep. or laugh, whatever. read it and have an emotional response. there we go. ( Read more... ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
1:11 am	Today's Assignment: Kick Some Ass duly noted. and completed. with gusto and fervor. actually, all i did was write a gi-normous outline for my bizzity-boz paper. 10 page paper, 7 page outline. yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh boyyyyyy... i finally get to ramble about pop culture under the guise of "academia." at this rate, i'll be writing my senior paper on the OC. all you nay-sayers can just goddamn nay your way back to "literature", whilst the truth shines bright and beautiful. with highlighted hair and plenty of teen angst. actually, i like academic stuff. sometimes. but not now. now all i feel like doing is watching 'school of rock.' repeatedly, just like i did last night. jesus christ, what a good movie. that was/is STILL my ultimate dream: all of a sudden, fuck school. school? at OUR school, each and every school day is completely devoted to learning arcane rock music trivia, immersing yourself in the history of rock, playing the guitar. somewhere, in the back of my mind, the little optimistic part of me (and believe me, the Optimism Sector has gotten tiny over the years) still holds out hope that this is entirely probable and that someday, this may indeed happen. it's sort of like waking up every day in the winter hoping that it snowed and that school is cancelled. which i also still do. wow. tonight, while we were rehearsing our play, a friend and i found a stuffed bulldog, complete with underbite and jutting canine teeth made out of felt. one of its legs had been purposefully removed and the nub sewed up. the bulldog, nevertheless, gave the impression that it had bravely soldered on and would continue to do so. so how did we commemorate its courageous attitude? ryan and i tied it up with a rubber snake and hung it from the table, ostensibly as a warning to all other three-legged bulldogs that dared enter our rehearsal space. bitch, we will fuck you up. and that's no lie. and speaking of theatre, i co-hosted the mccoy's annual awards show yesterday afternoon. i think in terms of host personas, i had been cast as The Sober One. because i was definitely the only sober person in the audience or onstage. it felt like i was in an episode of 'the twilight zone' ("The Last Sober Person On Earth"). also, it was a weird experience because i didn't know any of these little inside jokes, having been away all last semester. so i was all, "and who could forget the time when THIS happened...?" when actually, i never really knew what goddamn happened in the first place. bizarre. in a side note, i was also wearing the world's ugliest dress. i think i'm going to eat some cookies now. thanks a million, jessie! what a good big sis, like. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 19th, 2004
1:18 am	FURTHER CLARIFICATION god, what the hell is wrong with me? i can't type. i realized i also implied that i had only one friend in high school. how DARE you think i'm unpopular, readers. for shame. maybe i should edit BEFORE i post, huh? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:07 am	CLARIFICATION did i say "roommate in bed with two naked boys"? sorry, caroline. i meant to type suitemate. don't let your impression of her be tainted by my error, internet readers. (Comment on this)
12:19 am	Surveys, surveys everywhere... ...and not a drop to drink. 1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "BH, MH: Pronounced 'v'; snamh (swimming) is 'snahv'; sibh (you) (plural) is 'shiv'" 2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? my wall. how depressing. at least the glossy finish on the pictures on my wall is a nice sensual experience. 3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? a few nights ago, i vicariously watched the OC. caitlin described it to me in detail while i was studying for a math test..it was like the TV for the blind thing. if we're only counting experiencing TV with all 5 senses, it was probably either insomniac or dave chappelle. 4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 11:30 5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time? 12:25. i suck. 6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? caroline type type typing away. it's making me depressed. 7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? a few hours ago, we came back from IHOP after a failed trip to smoothie king, an establishment which keeps annoyingly christian hours on sundays. 8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? my 1913 edition of edith wharton's 'custom of the country.' weeeee... 9: What are you wearing? i'm nearly ashamed to say. a homemade tie-dyed men's undershirt, plaid pajama pants, and a blue bandana on my head. it's a get-up not even a mother or benevolent deity could love. 10: Did you dream last night? YES - and it kicked ass! i don't remember the general jist of it, but it all of a sudden switched to a weird unrelated scene in which a truck was backing up, making the trademark "i'm a giant truck who has no qualms about running your ass over" beep. and THEN caroline's alarm went off, MAKING THE EXACT SAME BEEPING NOISE. i'm clairvoyant! but only in my dreams... heh. 11: When did you last laugh? reading the description of elmer moffat's neck fat in 'custom of the country' and comparing this literary neck fat to the literal neck fat of the rhodes college IT department. i never claimed to laugh at normal things. 12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? oh christ. caroline has the realm of the classics covered, with the exception of her ella fitzgerald poster; but i think if you look closely, you can see cicero sitting next to duke ellington, watching her perform. i have many many old pop culture icons of the movie and music persuasion upon my walls - all black and white. these are mixed in with pictures of ireland, friends, postcards, weird shit, etc. blank walls suck. 13: Seen anything weird lately? vicariously (sensing a theme in my life yet?) i saw my roommate with two naked boys in her bed. 14: What do you think of this quiz? it's better than most. and when i say "most", i mean "reading 'custom of the country'". 15: What is the last film you saw? 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.' if you haven't seen it, for shame. 16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? a house in ireland. and i'd take everyone i loved with me. if i was rich enough, i'd probably just fucking buy ireland. i'd be a nicer colonizer than the british. 17: Tell me something about you that I don't know. who's 'me'? the quiz? when i was little (and sometimes i still do this), to amuse myself in the car, i'd look out the window and pretend i was actually running outside, alongside the car. i'd invent different acrobatic ways of getting over the obstacles i encountered, i.e. mailboxes, parked cars, etc. 18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? somehow convince everyone to adopt a more laid-back attitude and recognize the importance of compassion and compromise. 19: Do you like to dance? most of the time. 20: George Bush: What about him? he's an ignorant asshole with an evil, vindictive vice-president. 21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? siobhan. or maybe pascale. or phoebe. 22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? recently, i became enamored of the name ciaran. i also like dylan, elliot, and macneill. 23: Would you ever consider living abroad? been there, done that, will do it again after graduation. you have one guess where i'm going. and the middle layers from another survey, just because i'm too lazy to do the whole thing... LAYER THREE: -- Your most overused phrase on AIM: 'heh' -- Your thoughts first waking up: "how bad to i REALLY have to pee?" -- Your best physical feature: meh. my eyes, i guess. according to an ex, the curve from waist to hip and the tiny mole under the end of my left eyebrow. -- Your bedtime: ostensibly 1; after talking to caroline, too late. -- Your most missed memory: some are not post-appropriate. i'll just leave it as my four months in ireland. LAYER FOUR: -- Pepsi or Coke: diet cherry coke is the light of my life and the fire of my loins -- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's. but sometimes only a whopper will do. -- Adidas or Nike: my current running shoes are new balance, actually. -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea is an affront to the tea-drinking community. it's not even tea. lipton's will do quite nicely, as long as it's real tea and not that shit than comes in a can. -- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate, the darker the better. although sometimes i really like vanilla, especially with almond. -- Cappuccino or coffee: either. probably cappuccino - i like milk in my coffee. LAYER FIVE: -- Smoke: on occasion -- Cuss: all the goddamn time. -- Sing: in my car -- Take a shower everyday: i make gallant attempts. -- Have a crush(es): who doesn't? -- Think you've been in love: the jury's still out on this one. probably, given the way i'm acting now. -- Want to go to college: not anymore. -- Like(d) high school: my friend there, yes. the actual school and the concept of high school, no. -- Want to get married: eventually. -- Believe in yourself: most of the time. sometimes i think i hide it. -- Get motion sickness: rarely. except when in the back of a car as my mom drives 70 on tight turns in the mountains in NC -- Think you're a health freak: sometimes, about select things. -- Get along with your parent(s): most of the time. not living there/only talking to them once a week helps. -- Like thunderstorms: I LOVE THEM. being outside in them and watching them on our back porch with my dad and my dog on the moldy-ass patio furniture. -- Play an instrument: not lately. but once upon a time, i kicked ass at the piano and was decent at the guitar. LAYER SIX: In the past month... -- Drank alcohol: yep. -- Smoked: yep. -- Done a drug: yep. -- Had Sex: (cry) not in the past month... -- Made Out: jesus, this is getting depressing. -- Gone on a date: i'm getting out the razor right now.. -- Gone to the mall?: god, i can't even say yes to THIS. oh wait - i got my hair cut there. YES! -- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: ugh. gross. -- Eaten sushi: INCREDIBLE midnight sushi at tomo. -- Been on stage: acting out my own script, even. ain't you jealous of my glamorous lifestyle? -- Been dumped: hmm...what counts? not writing back EVER AGAIN? then yes. -- Gone skating: naw. -- Made homemade cookies: not in the past month. -- Gone skinny dipping: actually, i've never done this ever. -- Dyed your hair: never done that either. -- Stolen anything: not in the past month. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 16th, 2004
4:26 pm	back for a record second time... ...by popular request. well, actually only at the request of ariel and caroline. i'm counting them as the general populace for the purpose of maintaining self-esteem. anymore, i'm having some serious trouble falling asleep. except for the past few nights. that maybe debunks my claim. but i digress. anyway, before you think this is about to turn into a whiny, self-indulgent emo entry about a relationship that ended in 8th grade, fuck you. (in an interesting side note, i just remembered i still have a t-shirt from a concert i went to on a date in 8th grade. heh - "collective soul": do you remember them? if you do, don't you feel slightly embarassed?) self-diagnosis is still in the works, though i'm sure it probably has a lot to do with the fact that i feel like i have a lot to sort through and reconcile in all facets of my life. coming back from ireland/reading 11 modernist and postmodern books this semester has made me WAY too reflective. i'm sure i was excessively that way beforehand, but now it's just sort of ridiculous. not that i'm going to resolve to think less or anything, but lately i've been thinking that too much reflection definitely cripples a person in the way they function. this semester, i think i'm definitely living proof of that. i feel like i'm a goddamn hermit; i'm less social now than i think i've ever been before. and i don't really feel much like doing anything to change that right about now. i suppose i was social enough in ireland for about three people, so maybe this is my extrovert-detox period. wow - i dunno. maybe the platelet-selling fling of yore was right: i DO think too much. oh, and to satisfy those of you with emotional bloodlust, thirsting for emo-ity, i'm sure a lot of this crap is prompted/exacerbated by the conclusion of one relationship in particular. there. i said it. [insert your favorite 'dashboard confessional' lyrics here. on second thought, for god's sake, please don't.] in keeping with the mood of today's entry and ensuring that i will stay firmly in whatever funk i'm in, going to see 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' tonight for the second time..wootie woot woot! it is imperative that you see this movie if you have ever taken the time to make any connection with anyone on earth in the time you have been on this planet. that includes you. take my advice or suffer the consequences, bee-yotch. i'll be funny later. if you want to read something funny, check out ariel's ( arifairy ) application of post-colonial theory to the concept of the hair-straightener. now THAT'S funny. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
11:57 pm	the first cut is the deepest... ...and the first entry inevitably the most boring and trite. suffer for now, little children, and i promise you will reap eternal rewards sometime in the near future. in other news, the international students at rhodes don't move. they sit right in front of the door to the dorm and chain smoke. while i'm trying to go in and out of the door, no less. at least i moved while i was abroad. sometimes. when "the simpsons" wasn't on sky one. speaking of bowling, that's what i did tonight. it was the longest sustained session of bowling in which i have personally participated, lasting an unprecedented 7 PM to 10 PM. and that time was spent solely on bowling. i'd like to say i did pretty damn well; i'd also like to say that the LeisurePlex of cork city honed my skills, simply due to the fact that the LeisurePlex was always an option. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. imagine if a 7-11 had bowling. that's what it was like..with less slurpees. tune in next time, when i regale you with more compelling tales taken straight from my life as you and i know it.. Current Mood: mellow (2 Comments |Comment on this)